


A Light in the Darkness

by Elerina18



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Birth, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Loss, Childbirth, Dubious Anatomy, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Male Lactation, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25532866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elerina18/pseuds/Elerina18
Summary: Life had finally calmed down for the Avengers. Bucky has been made a member of the team,  although he fears that was more based on Steve's say-so, than based on any of the others trusting him. His decades as HYDRA's weapon still haunt him. However, something unexpected may finally show him he is more than the "Winter Soldier".  Mpreg/Birth
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

Title: A Light in the Darkness  
Author: Elerina18  
Fandom: Avengers MCU  
Pairings: Steve/Bucky, Tony/Bruce, others  
Summary: Life had finally calmed down for the Avengers. Bucky has been made a member of the team, although he fears that was more based on Steve's say-so, than based on any of the others trusting him. His decades as HYDRA's weapon still haunt him. However, something unexpected may finally show him he is more than the "Winter Soldier". Mpreg/Birth  
(Characters may be a bit OOC)  
Parts: 1/?  
Status: Work in Progress  
Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to Marvel Studios and affiliates  
Author's Notes: AU: Civil War didn't happen-Bucky was not personally responsible for the death of Tony's parents, a random other HYDRA agent was, no accords-so no in-fighting with Steve and Tony, Tony still recruits Peter, though. Infinity War 'happened', but they got Thanos the first time, no snap, no five year gap. Endgame didn't happen, everyone lives.  
Now that life has calmed down, Steve and Bucky have rekindled their relationship. Tony had been trying to ask Bruce out for a while, persistent despite Bruce's rejections. Bruce finally said yes after Tony kept giving him counter points for all the reasons Bruce kept using to say no. Tony and Bruce, mostly Tony, have been working on ways to actually have a 'love' life. Bruce and Hulk are still two different entities in Bruce's mind. Tony and Pepper have a more brother/sister type relationship; she still helps run the company. Peter likes to visit Tony and Bruce at the tower when he can.  
Additional notes: In this universe, a small percentage of men are born with the ability to carry and give birth to children. Colloquially, they are known as 'Carriers'. Tests are usually done on boys once they hit puberty to confirm 'Carrier' status. However, it's not talked about that much in society. Because of the small percentage affected, many don't tend to believe it happens at all, while others may talk down those who are Carriers, considering it a weakness or defect.  
*******************************************************************************

Bucky sat and watched with curiosity as Tony worked. Tony had the new arm T'Challa gave Bucky on the work table hooked to several wires, and was surrounded by several holographic screens. The upgrade was Tony's idea, saying he couldn't wait to see Steve's face when it was done.  
Bucky's phone rang, startling both of them.  
"Tell your overprotective boyfriend I'm almost done," Tony said, not looking up. Bucky chuckled as he answered the call.  
"Hey Steve," Bucky said with a soft smile.  
"Hi Buck. How's everything going with Tony?"  
"He said he's almost done."  
"Is he going to tell me what he's doing to your arm?"  
"If you keep interrupting, I'm going to have it shoot off fireworks every time you're in close range, Cap," Tony interrupted, adjusting one of the schematics on-screen.  
"Very funny." Bucky smirked a bit as he saw Steve roll his eyes on the phone screen.  
"Hey! Bucky said he liked my idea, just leave it at that."  
"Buck, be careful with Tony's 'ideas'."  
"How many bad ideas have I actually had?"  
"Do you want me to make a list?" Tony just shook his head as he kept working. Steve sighed, "Anyway, Buck, I just wanted to let you know I'm probably going to be late coming home. This is going to take longer than I thought."  
"You've been doing that a lot lately, Steve. Is everything alright?" Bucky asked.  
"I'm fine. I'm just... I need to take care of something." Steve stammered, and Bucky noticed a slight blush on his boyfriend's cheeks.  
"You're a terrible liar," Bucky replied with a smirk. Tony looked up with a knowing smile before returning to his work.  
"Look," Steve replied, "Everything should be finished soon. How about I take you to dinner tomorrow, and I'll tell you all about what's happening then?"  
"Sure," Bucky smiled.  
"How are you feeling, Buck? I know the last few days have been rough." Bucky caught Tony looking up again out of the corner of his eye.  
"Better. I'm fine now," Bucky answered, his expression neutral.  
"I love you, Bucky. Take care of yourself," Steve replied with a hint of concern.  
"I love you too. See you at home." Bucky hung up and put the phone in his pocket. He looked up and saw Tony grinning.  
"You know something," Bucky said with a sigh.  
"I'm just glad Steve found someone," Tony replied with fake innocence, "And Steve's not the only terrible liar, apparently."  
"What?"  
"If you're sick, we could have done this a different day. "  
"I'm fine." Bucky's expression grew cold. At that moment, the door to the lab opened and Bruce walked followed closely by Peter.  
"Thank you so much for your help, Dr. Banner. I've been trying to figure this project out for days!" Peter exclaimed.  
"You're welcome," Bruce replied with a smile, "And it's Bruce. you don't have to keep calling me Dr. Banner."  
"Kid, just wanted to let you know you've got about five minutes before your aunt starts blowing up my phone asking where you are," Tony said dryly as he looked as his watch.  
"Crap. Okay, I gotta go. Thanks again for letting me come over, Mr. Stark. And thanks again for your help, Dr. Ba... Bruce. Nice to see you again, Mr. Barnes."  
"Just call me Bucky," He replied, shaking his head.  
Peter seemed to hesitate for a moment, then gave Bruce a hug. Bruce stepped back in surprise, then smiled and returned the hug.  
"And make sure you go straight home!" Tony yelled as Peter was leaving, "I don't want to see you web-slinging all over the city. Especially since the snow is supposed to get worse later."  
"Yes, sir," Peter said, rolling his eyes as he walked out of the lab.  
"Are you sure you two aren't related?" Bruce asked, laughing as he walked over to Tony. Tony sighed in exasperation and shook his head. Bruce gently, almost hesitantly, kissed the nape of Tony's neck.  
"How's it going?" Bruce asked before Tony could say anything.  
"I'm almost done. I just need to make one last adjustment..." Tony looked up at Bucky, then back at his screen, frowning.  
"May I?" Bruce asked. Tony stepped aside as Bruce started making adjustments. Bruce looked at Bucky, then back at the screen. "Honestly, Ton, that's probably as close as you're going to get."  
"You want to try it?" Tony asked Bucky as he disconnected the arm. Bucky picked up the arm and reattached it.  
"It doesn't feel any different," "Bucky said as he flexed the fingers.  
"Go ahead and touch the pulse-point on your wrist," Tony explained, gesturing. Bucky turned his hand over and saw a small indent in the metal that wasn't there prior. He touched it, then watched in awe as a blue, translucent, hexagonal grid spread and covered the entire arm from the fingertips to his shoulder. The grid then faded, color blurring and changing to match Bucky's skin tones. Lines appeared, knuckles, joints, hair, fingernails. After a moment, the only indication that anything was different was a slight ring of scarring around his shoulder where metal met flesh.  
"The coloring is as close as I could get it," Tony said, "But, it should make your dates with Cap a little less awkward."  
Bucky stood there, staring at the arm, turning it over and trying to look at it from different angles.  
"...Thank you," He finally managed, looking up at Tony.  
"No problem. If you ever want to turn it off, just touch the same spot."  
"I should probably get going," Bucky said after a moment, seeing the sky darken out the window. He pulled on his jacket .  
"Again.. Thank you," Bucky told them as he walked out into the late-February air.  
***********************************************************************  
Leave it to Steve to bring up the fact that he hadn't been feeling well. Steve's constant care was both comforting and somewhat stifling. Then again, that's how Steve had always been.  
That desire to protect, to do the right thing (even if he got beat up in the process) was one of the reasons Bucky fell for Steve all those years ago. Why he never stopped, even after everything that has happened.  
Now? Steve was the shield protecting him from the rest of the world.  
...The shield protecting the rest of the world from _him_.

A slight wave of nausea pulled Bucky from his thoughts. He was almost sure he knew what was causing it, but wanted to confirm it, just in case.  
The symptoms at the beginning seemed to be the same every time...  
Tony was right though, the 'upgrade' to his arm did make things less awkward; the cashier barely looked up as he made his purchase. Normally, his arm drew in a lot of unwanted gawking from passersby.  
He was grateful their Brooklyn apartment was empty when he got home; he had no idea how to even explain this to Steve. Part of him was hoping he wouldn't have to explain anything.  
**************************************************************************  
Bucky hated the waiting. He paced the apartment as the minutes ticked by. He looked up again at the clock on the wall, let out a deep breath, and walked into the bathroom. He didn't want to, but hesitating wasn't going to change the answer.  
He picked up the stick off the sink and looked down at it.

Positive...

His heart fell.  
Shit...  
Now what?

Bucky's head shot up as he heard the front door slam.  
"Bucky?" Came Steve's voice.

Steve put his things down on the table, pocketing a small box as he looked around.  
"Buck?" He called again, walking through the apartment. He was sure Bucky would have been home by now.  
The bathroom light was on. Steve's heart skipped a beat when he found a box of pregnancy tests on the bathroom floor, as if it had accidently been knocked over.  
"Bucky? Are you alright?" He kept walking through the apartment, heartbeat slowly accelerating. No sign of Bucky.  
He felt a draft, and went to see where it was coming from. His eyes went wide as he found the window leading to the fire escape wide open...

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Title: A Light in the Darkness

Author: Elerina18

Fandom: Avengers MCU

Pairings: Steve/Bucky, Tony/Bruce, others

Summary: Life had finally calmed down for the Avengers. Bucky has been made a member of the team, although he fears that was more based on Steve's say-so, than based on any of the others trusting him. His decades as HYDRA's weapon still haunt him. However, something unexpected may finally show him he is more than the "Winter Soldier". Mpreg/Birth

(Characters may be a bit OOC)

Parts: 2/?

Status: Work in Progress

Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to Marvel Studios and affiliates

Author's warning: This chapter includes a flashback of Bucky losing a child, and references to the loss of others in conversation. The flashback also depicts violence.

************************************************************

_Bright lights. Shadowed faces milling about. Hushed voices._

_"How much longer? They need him."_

_"Patience. This is not a process that can be rushed further without causing unnecessary damage."_

_Metal restraints: wrists, chest, ankles. Legs spread._

_Abdominal muscles contracting. Pressure building._

_Push..._

_Breathe..._

_"He's needed in an hour. He has to be ready to go by then."_

_"They should know I can't guarantee that. The timing varies with him."_

_Abdominal muscles contracting. Pressure building._

_Push..._

_Breathe..._

_"Isn't there anything you could do to speed this up?"_

_"Other than what has already been done? Do you want to be the one to tell them the Asset was damaged because the process was tampered with beyond his limits? Or worse, tell them another one failed due to tampering?"_

_Abdominal muscles contracting. Pressure building._

_Push..._

_Breathe..._

_"Can't you just cut it out?"_

_"That would require time for him to heal himself back to peak efficiency. Time that, apparently, is currently unavailable."_

_Abdominal muscles contracting. Pressure building._

_Push..._

_Gasping..._

_The opening is stretching, burning..._

_"There, you see? It's crowning. Shouldn't be too much longer now."_

_"Think this one will be viable?"_

_Abdominal muscles contracting. Pressure building._

_Push..._

_The burning intensifies._

_Deep breath..._

_"Well, based on the scans, this one seems stronger than the last. It will still need further testing though."_

_Abdominal muscles contracting. Pressure building._

_Push..._

_A breath released as the burning fades, the pressure abates._

_"There's the head. Only needed a little patience."_

_"We're running out of time."_

_Abdominal muscles contracting. A new pressure builds._

_Push..._

_Breathe..._

_"There we go. Just a bit more."_

_Abdominal muscles contracting. Pressure building._

_Push..._

_Suddenly, there is touching, pulling. Pressure releases as his body empties._

_Deep breath..._

_Silence..._

_A slap. Sputtering, coughing, crying..._

_Crying!_

_"Interesting. This one's female."_

_"Take it to be tested."_

_No... not again..._

_MINE!_

_Grunting, pulling, straining. Left arm breaks free._

_"What the hell?"_

_"When did he wake up?"_

_The restraint across his chest is crushed and thrown aside._

_"Restrain him!"_

_The right-hand restraint is crushed, shattering. Hands press down on his shoulders._

_The crying is louder._

_One of the oppressing arms is broken; it's owner thrown aside._

_"I said restrain him!"_

_The crying is louder._

_Another is thrown aside._

_"Get it out of here!"_

_The restraints are pulled from both legs._

_The sting of an injection. Suddenly, the world seems slowed, blurry._

_Hand press him back down._

_The crying is louder._

_Pages rustling._

_"Longing."_

_"Rusted."_

_"Seventeen."_

_He pushes the hands away, screaming._

_"Daybreak."_

_"Furnace."_

_"Nine."_

_The world continues to blur._

_He is pressed back down._

_Machinery wraps around his head._

_"Benign."_

_"Homecoming."_

_"One."_

_A door slams. The room is quiet._

_"Freight car."_

_Darkness..._

**************************************************

Bucky shook the memory from his head as he continued walking, shivering slightly in the chilled night air. He tried to wipe the moisture, fear, and frustration from his eyes as he went.

He hadn't expected Steve to return that quickly. He panicked. He just needed time to think.

He loved Steve, loved him with everything he had. Steve had been kind, compassionate, _patient_ since Bucky had been released from HYDRA. It was Steve's idea to take things slow, move at whatever pace Bucky was comfortable with. They only started sleeping together again a couple weeks prior. He couldn't be more grateful. Steve still that same stubborn boy he grew up with, fell deeply in love with; he could just look him straight in the eyes now.

Bucky's phone rang. He ignored it and kept walking. There was only one person who would call him...

Even with as wonderful as Steve had been treating him, Bucky still felt out of place in Steve's new world. His old 'Captain America' persona had taken on a life of its own. Bucky had seen the image everywhere; as well as the images of Steve's friends. Steve seemed to shine; as if he finally found where he was needed, where he belonged. Steve was happy.

And Bucky? Bucky was the shadow; watching as the man he loved turned into the man he was trying to be 70 years ago. Bucky felt almost unworthy of him.

A slight wave of nausea caused him to slow a bit. On instinct, he gently rubbed his stomach. He eventually found a bench along the sidewalk. He wiped off the snow and sat down, hoping for it to pass.

Now this happened. The future hadn't really been a topic of conversation yet. Bucky assumed because Steve didn't want to overwhelm him. Bucky had no idea how Steve would even feel about children. Hell, he wasn't sure Steve knew he _could_ get pregnant. And what would happen when HYDRA finds out? He would rather die than have HYDRA even breathe in the direction of this baby...

Bucky sighed as he pressed his face into his hands.

_What was he going to do now?_

"...Bucky?" came a soft voice behind him. Bucky jumped up in surprise, turned, and pointed a pistol at the offender.

"Easy, Buck," Steve said, putting his hands up in surrender, "It's just me. I didn't mean to scare you."

"...Sorry," Bucky mumbled, putting the gun back into his jacket and sitting down. Steve sat next to him. Bucky didn't look up.

"You weren't picking up your phone. I was worried about you," Steve said, voice laced with genuine concern.

"How did you find me?" Bucky asked, still looking at the concrete.

"To be honest, you didn't go that far," Steve replied, "Footprints in the snow helped." He reached out to put a hand on Bucky's shoulder, then thought better of it. "What scared you, Buck?"

"I'm alright," Bucky didn't need to look up to feel Steve looking at him disapprovingly.

"Then why did you run?"

"I didn't 'run'. I just needed time to think." Bucky sat back and sighed, eyes closed. 

"Talk to me, Buck," Steve pleaded, "I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

Bucky didn't answer. Steve sighed, and pulled something out of a pocket.

"I found these in the bathroom," Steve said, finally prompting Bucky to look at him. Bucky's heart sank as he watched Steve turn over a pregnancy test in his hands.

"Shit..." Bucky breathed, turning away.

"It's okay, Buck. Just talk to me."

After a moment, Bucky sighed, pulled the test out of his jacket and handed it to Steve, not looking up.

Steve stared wide-eyed at the positive pregnancy test, almost unable to breathe as his heart rate accelerated.

"Oh, Bucky..."

Steve reached over and pulled Bucky close, kissing him. As they parted, Bucky looked up to see a big, goofy smile on Steve's face; he's eyes sparkling.

"...You're not angry?" Bucky asked, shock clear on his face.

"Angry? No." Steve shook his head, "I'm surprised; I don't think you ever told me you were a Carrier. But I'm not angry."

Bucky sighed, partially in relief, partially in resignation.

"There's more, isn't there?" Steve said, wiping a tear off Bucky's face. "What's wrong?"

"... I'm terrified," Bucky finally admits, "I'm still trying to figure life out again... We just got back together..."

"Bucky," Steve just smiled, "It's alright. Yeah, we weren't planning on kids or anything yet, but we'll figure it out."

_Steve, ever the optimist..._

Bucky stood. "And what do we do when HYDRA comes back?"

"Bucky..." Bucky put a hand up, silencing Steve.

"I know. We've been working to take them out, cell by cell. It doesn't change the fact they're still out there. I can't let them take me again..." Steve reached out to Bucky, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. Bucky turned, eyes blazing.

"I won't let them take another one from me!"

Steve took a step back, eyes wide. "Another what, Buck? What happened?"

Bucky took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"When Zola found out I was a ... 'Carrier' ... They decided it would be more 'efficient' to... well, use their 'Asset' to create more soldiers. The assumption being that, since all their modifications worked so _well_ on me, that I could just pass them down. I... lost track, of how many they made me give birth to. It became almost... mechanical, after a while." Bucky could feel his hands clenching into fists. "Each one that was born was taken to get 'tested'. I never found out what that meant. I never touched any of them. I barely got a chance to _look_ at any of them. I'd usually overhear sometime later that 'one of the experiments failed'." Bucky could feel tears start to fall down his face. "The last one... somehow, I was mostly conscious for that birth. I remember hearing it was a girl. I snapped. I fought them as hard as I could, but I couldn't get to her..." Bucky let out a heavy sigh. "... And then, less than 24 hours later, I was called 'Bucky' again for the first time in 70 years..."

" Buck..." Steve ran up and held Bucky close.

"I can't let them have this one, Steve," Bucky whispered when they parted, "I refuse to let my past poison this baby's future. And, if they find out it's half _you..._ " Bucky started shaking. "I don't know what to do..."

"Hey..." Steve cupped Bucky's face with both hands, "You're not doing this alone. I'll be there every step of the way. I'll protect you, both of you, with my life. You know that, right?"

"... I know..."

"Besides, if I'm not around, there will be an army of Avenger aunts and uncles who will be there for us too." Bucky let out a soft laugh.

"I'll let you deal with any arguments over 'godparent' rights," Bucky replied.

"Oh, God," Steve sighed and shook his head. Bucky laughed at Steve's pained expression. Steve smiled softly and wiped tears off Bucky's face.

"Well," Steve said after a moment, letting out a sigh that seemed almost nervous, "I was going to do this at dinner tomorrow, but, this seems as appropriate a time as any."

"What's going on, Steve?" Bucky asked.

Steve took a deep breath, almost steadying himself.

"We've been through a lot, Buck. More than most. Yet, in spite of it all, we seem to keep coming back to each other. I love you. It's always been you. Even when we were kids, I always looked up to you and wanted you in my life. It will always be you, if you'll let me." Steve couldn't help but grin at Bucky's confusion. He pulled a small white box out of his pocket, and got down on one knee in the snow.

"James Buchanan Barnes, will you marry me?"

Steve opened the box to reveal a silver ring with a diamond embedded directly into the band. A ruby and a sapphire were embedded to the left and right of the diamond.

Bucky looked like he was about to faint from shock.

"...Really? Even with..." He touched his temple.

Steve nodded. "I know you've been through hell, Buck. I know you're currently going through a lot too. Like I said, I'll be there every step of the way. I love you, Bucky."

"I love you too." Bucky pulled Steve to his feet and kissed him passionately. "It's about damn time."

"Is that a yes?" Steve asked with a smirk. Bucky mock-glared at him.

"Yes."

Steve's eyes seemed to mist over as he kissed Bucky. He then pulled the ring out the box.

"Well, traditionally, it's supposed to go on your left hand. I understand why you may not want it on that one. Do you have a preference?"

Bucky took the ring out of Steve's hand and put it on his right ring-finger. "At least I'll be able to feel it on that one." 

Steve let out a gasp when he noticed Bucky's left hand was flesh-colored.

"Is that what Tony's been working on?"

Bucky nodded. "It's just the look though. But, it helps."

"I'll have to thank him next time I see him." Steve shivered a bit and looked up at the gently falling snow. "Come on, let's get you two home. It's getting a little cold out here."

Bucky smiled as Steve wrapped his arm around Bucky's waist as they walked.

To him, it felt like it was starting to warm up.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

Title: A Light in the Darkness

Author: Elerina18

Fandom: Avengers MCU

Pairings: Steve/Bucky, Tony/Bruce, others

Summary: Life had finally calmed down for the Avengers. Bucky has been made a member of the team, although he fears that was more based on Steve's say-so, than based on any of the others trusting him. His decades as HYDRA's weapon still haunt him. However, something unexpected may finally show him he is more than the "Winter Soldier". Mpreg/Birth

(Characters may be a bit OOC)

Parts: 3/?

Status: Work in Progress

Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to Marvel Studios and affiliates

Author's warning: References to the loss of children in conversation

************************************************************

Steve and Bucky were sitting in the med-bay at the Tower, waiting on Bruce and FRIDAY to finish running scans on Bucky. Bucky was sitting on a semi-inclined hospital bed. It had taken a few days to convince Bucky to even see someone at all. Steve wanted to make sure both were alright.

Bruce looked at Bucky, then back at the monitor, frowning.

"You said you thought you were about 3 to 4 weeks along, right?" Bruce asked. Bucky nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Why?" Bucky began to pale a bit.

"I ran it several times, but it keeps showing me a gestation time of 8 weeks."

Bucky bolted off the bed and ran over to the monitor Bruce was using.

"Damnit..." Bucky mumbled, looking away from the screen.

"Wait... Bucky?" Steve looked up at him, "You knew this was a possibility?"

Bucky slowly looked up, breath catching as he caught the hurt, almost betrayed, look in Steve's eyes.

Something clicked, and it broke Bucky's heart.

"No, Steve," Bucky said, running over and pulling him close. "Never. There's no one else."

"Then... how...?"

Bucky pulled away, and took a breath, trying to order his thoughts.

"I was hoping it wouldn't carry over," Bucky said after a moment, "especially since this one wasn't conceived because of some experiment." Bucky closed his eyes, trying to fight the memories.

"HYDRA got impatient. The process was taking too long; they didn't want to wait 9 months at a time for each new soldier. They experimented, trying to speed everything up. A lot of... 'trial and error'." Bucky took a deep, stuttering breath, "They eventually figured out that they could cut the time in half and my body could still handle it. Any more 'damaged' me."

"So, 20 weeks as opposed to 40," Bruce spoke up softly. Bucky had forgotten he was still in the room.

"More or less," Bucky replied, looking back at Bruce. "Same for labors. The last one was only a couple hours, if that." Bucky could almost feel Steve's eyes on him. He didn't turn; didn't want to see the pity he was sure they held. "The baby likely won't be that big, even at full term. They didn't want it to get in the way while I was in the field."

"You were sent on missions pregnant?" Steve said incredulously, standing. Bucky nodded.

"Wow," Bruce said after a moment, "I mean, I had a basic idea what you'd been through, same as the rest of the team. I don't think any of us realized..." He quickly shook his head, as if clearing something, "However, what you said is helping me better understand FRIDAY's scans. Other than the rapid growth, the embryo itself is healthy, from what I'm seeing. I can set up an ultrasound, if you want?" 

Bucky turned to Steve to ask what he thought, and noticed he didn't seem to be looking at anything. His eyes were almost clouded over. Tears started to slide down his face, and his whole face seemed awash in _guilt._

"Steve?" Bucky whispered, reaching up his right hand and wiping some of the tears away. The touch seemed to wake Steve up; he blinked several times, his breath quickening as he looked around.

"You were thinking about the train again, weren't you?"

"Yeah," Steve answered, sounding almost defeated.

Bucky sighed. "Steve, you have to stop beating yourself up. You didn't do this to me."

"I may as well have," Steve replied, shaking his head, "You were _right there_ , Buck. I messed up; I couldn't catch you. It was because of _my mistake_ that you..."

"Steve." Bucky silenced him. "I know you've heard it before, but this wasn't your fault. I don't blame you. I never did." He kissed Steve's lips gently. "Come on. Bruce said he can let us see him."

"Him?" Steve asked with a smile as he walked with Bucky back over to the bed.

"Call it... a feeling, I guess." Bucky replied as he laid down.

Bruce turned on the machine, "Based on the timeframe you gave, we should be able to see its sex in about a month, if you want to know." Bruce had FRIDAY project the screen above the bed, making it easier for everyone to see.

"Just a warning, this is going to be cold," Bruce said as he rubbed gel on Bucky's lower abdomen, then started running the ultrasound probe across it. After a moment, the holoprojection flashed to life, showing a blurred shape inside of him. "There we go. You can see its head and its limbs already." FRIDAY highlighted the different body parts as Bruce spoke.

Bucky just stared, mind almost going blank at the image.

"...Hi," He eventually managed to whisper, ignoring the tears falling down his cheeks. He barely registered Steve kissing his forehead gently.

Bruce gave the probe to Bucky and took a step back; letting the couple have their moment. He subtly had FRIDAY start printing ultrasound pictures as he watched him move the probe, changing the image.

"You two are welcome to use the machine as long as you want," Bruce said after some time, "But I just wanted to tell you one last thing." Some additional information came up on-screen. "Based on the growth I'm seeing, and the information you just gave, it looks like the baby will be due around July 10th, assuming no drastic changes." He walked over and handed Steve a folder. "Here's a printout of the baby's information, and some of the ultrasound photos." Bruce gave them a soft smile. "I'll give you two some air. Call if you need anything."

"Thanks, Bruce," Steve replied, shaking his hand as Bruce walked out. Steve couldn't help but smile as he noticed Bucky was still transfixed on the image.

"July 10th," Steve said with a smile as he sat down. He pulled a calendar out of his pocket, turned to July, and circled that whole week. "Doesn't give us a lot of time. We also still need to tell the rest of the team why you'll be out of commission for a while."

He got up and handed Bucky a rag and his shirt.

"I don't need the others feeling sorry for me," Bucky said as he wiped his stomach off.

"I'm sure they'll understand," Steve said, " I actually called them earlier. Most of them should be stopping by the tower later." Steve pulled Bucky to his feet, then kissed the ring on his right hand. "We need to tell them about the engagement too." 

"How are we going to plan a wedding in four months?" Bucky asked as he pulled on his shirt.

Steve shrugged. "We could ask the others for ideas. I'm sure Tony will want to put his two cents in. He's likely been bothering Bruce since we showed up. If he's not one of the first to know, he'll never let me hear the end of it."

They walked out into the common area in time to hear: "Come on, Brucie. Just tell me something."

"You could just ask us directly, Tony," Steve said with a smirk.

"Hey, Cap," Tony replied. He walked over, cup of coffee in hand. "So, who's dying?"

"No one's dying, Tony," Steve said with a soft sigh, "We're just... going to be taking a break from team ops for a while." Bucky looked at Steve in confusion, wondering why he included himself in that statement.

Tony took a peek at Bucky's hands. "Heh, Red, White, and Blue. Don't know why I expected anything different. Congratulations." Tony genuinely smiled as he hugged Steve with his free arm. He then looked at Bucky, arm outstretched and eyebrow raised. Bucky smiled slightly as he let Tony embrace him.

"Took you long enough." Tony teased, smirking as let go of Bucky.

"Things got... delayed," Steve replied with a smile.

"There's the understatement of the century. So, that's the reason for the break? You two taking an extra-long honeymoon?" Tony took a drink of his coffee.

"...Not exactly," Steve turned to Bucky, who nodded. "Bucky's a Carrier. He's pregnant."

Tony's eyes went wide as coffee was accidently sprayed everywhere.

"You're serious?" Tony looked up at Steve as he wiped his mouth.

"Well..." Steve smiled as he handed Tony one of the ultrasound photos. "You tell me."

Tony gently set his coffee cup down on the table as he stared at the photo.

"... It looks like a tadpole with limbs," Tony said after a moment. He smirked at the soft glare Steve was giving him. "I'm kidding. Congratulations again, Cap. Honestly. I'm excited to meet my new... Niece? Nephew?"

"We don't know yet."

"Well, the only thing that really changes is whether you spell 'Tony' with a 'y' or an 'i'."

Steve sighed in exasperation. "...We're not naming it T..."

"Or, you could name it 'Bruce' too." Tony grinned mischievously.

"Name it whatever you want," Bruce replied, shaking his head at Tony, "You do realize the rest of the team is going to do the same thing once they find out."

"I know."

"So, when do we get to meet the newest Avenger?" Tony asked, handing the photo back to Steve, "Late September-Early October, if I did the math right?"

"...July," Bucky mumbled a reply. Tony looked at him like he sprouted an extra head.

"July? I thought that photo said eight weeks."

"It's... complicated."

"We'll explain once everyone else is here." Steve interjected. 

"Fine. In the meanwhile..." Tony pulled out a tablet and started typing, "I need to get the 'favorite uncle' idea going early." Tony looked up at Steve with an angelic expression. "Red and Gold is a good unisex color-scheme for the kid's room, right?" He went back to typing without waiting for an answer.

"...Exactly how much 'Iron Man' stuff do you plan on getting?"

"I'm the uncle; it's my job to spoil the kid," He smirked, "Therefore, as much as I want."

"You do realize we live in an apartment, right? Not a lot of space."

"I offered to help you find a bigger place. You wanted to live there."

"We've been over this. It's what I could afford. I wasn't going to take all your money."

Tony snorted. "Fine. I'll just keep some of it here for when you bring the kid to visit." He kept typing. "I suppose the kid should have something for the rest of the team as well..." Tony seemed to mumble to himself.

"Either of you want anything?" Bruce asked, gesturing to have them follow him.

"Well, now I know what's Tony's pet project is going to be for the foreseeable future." Bruce shook his head.

"Well, he's excited," Steve replied as Bruce gave them glasses of water. "How is it going with him, Bruce?"

"To be honest, he's been great. I don't think I've ever been this spoiled in my life." Bruce laughed softly. "My lab's top-of-the-line and constantly being updated. I have more clothes than I know what to do with. He's also not scared of me, for some reason. He acts like the Other Guy doesn't concern him. Well, he does, but he doesn't walk on eggshells around me. It's... nice." Bruce looked up. then realized what he said, "Don't get me wrong; the rest of the team has been great too. It just took everyone time to not be afraid of me anymore." Bruce stopped, his eyes downcast. "Tony just doesn't seem to understand that I can't give him what he wants. It's not that I don't want to; I physically can't. I'll kill him."

"Have you told him that?" Steve asked.

"Multiple times. He just keeps saying he'll find a way to work around the Other Guy."

"Boss," FRIDAY chirped, "The other Avengers have arrived. I'll let them in."

"Thanks, FRI," Bruce replied.

"She calls you 'Boss' now?" Steve asked, smiling.

"Tony gave me administrative rights. That's how we had that appointment earlier without Tony seeing anything."

They walked out to see Tony greeting Clint and Natasha. The others walked in shortly after.

"So, what's so important, Steve? You sounded nervous on the phone," Nat asked once everyone was settled.

Steve stood, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

"There's a couple things, actually," He turned and offered a hand to Bucky, pulling him to his feet. "I guess first things first, if only to get the jokes out of the way. Bucky and I are engaged." He just smiled at Bucky. Bucky could feel the heat on his cheeks as he sighed and raised the back of his hand to show off the ring. The room erupted in hearty congratulations as the team came up to hug them or shake their hands.

" Red, White, and Blue? Really Steve?" Sam asked with a chuckle as he looked at Bucky's hand. "You couldn't have gotten the poor guy something more original?"

"I like it," Bucky replied, shrugging. 

"Leave him alone, Sam," Nat said with a giggle as she gave Bucky and Steve a hug, "It's appropriate, I think. Very Steve." Steve just sighed and shook his head. 

"We were hoping to get married soon, by the end of June at the latest. If you have any ideas that would help, I would greatly appreciate it."

"Why so soon?" Nat asked, and Steve could see the confusion on everyone's faces.

Steve turned to Bucky, who nodded. "Bucky's a Carrier. He's pregnant. The baby's due around July 10th."

Somewhat unsurprisingly, they were met initially with silence, then cacophony.

"Wait, what?"

"You're serious?"

"Congratulations!"

"He doesn't look any different."

"He's due in July, and you _just_ found out?"

"Congratulations, you deserve it. But, what will this mean for the team?"

The room suddenly quieted at that last question.

"We just found out a few days ago." Steve said after a moment. "We haven't had a chance to talk about what's going to happen, which is part of the reason I called all of you. Bucky, obviously, isn't going on ops for the foreseeable future. I'm... going to take some time off as well, at least until the baby's born. After that... I don't know."

"So, Captain America's finally hanging up the shield?" Clint asked, realizing the joke fell flat.

"Well..." Steve started to reply after a heavy pause, "I know you guys can handle..."

"No, he's not," Bucky interjected.

"Bucky?" Steve looked at him in confusion.

"Steve, You are literally living the life you've wanted to lead since we were kids; protecting those who can't protect themselves, standing up to the 'bullies'. The world still needs 'Captain America', even all these years later. We can figure out more after the baby's born."

"But, you..."

"I can take care of myself," Bucky stated, smirking slightly. " _You_ still have a job to do."

"I also have a family to take care of."

"You're right. But, you're family is more than just us..." Bucky gestured to the rest of the team. "Besides, if you were stuck at home, you'd go crazy. You'd be on the phone with them discussing missions all day anyway."

"...You're alright with me going on ops?"

"Just be careful." Bucky gave a slight nod. "And you _better_ be around for the birth."

Steve just sighed in resignation as the team chuckled a bit.

"Well, at least we can stave off listening to Tony for a little longer," Nat said, trying not to grin.

"Hey!" Came Tony's indignant reply, "I've lead plenty of ops when Cap wasn't around; I know what I'm doing." Everyone seemed to look everywhere other than at Tony.

"Traitors..." Tony mumbled as he finished his coffee.

"Wait a minute," Clint looked up at Bucky, "You two just got back together recently. How are you due in July?"

Steve and Bucky went on to explain HYDRA's 'experiments' on Bucky, and therefore the baby would develop twice as fast as normal. 

"... And that's why we wanted to get married so quickly; to get it done before the baby gets here," Steve stated.

"If you can give me a date, I can make a few calls," Tony grinned. "I'm sure most places would be more than willing to host Captain America's wedding ceremony."

"Make sure the press isn't notified." Steve's expression hardened. "I don't need my family posted all over New York."

"Don't worry; FRIDAY and I will make sure everything stays private."

"So, any ideas on names yet?" Sam asked with a grin. "I mean, 'Sam' works for now, and you can just change it Samantha or Samuel once you know what you're having."

"Come on. If it's a girl, her name's going to be 'Natasha'." Nat stated. The room then erupted in name suggestions, mostly that the baby should be named for one of the Avengers. Steve just sighed and sat down, shaking his head at the team's 'ideas'.

***************************************************

"We could turn my room into a nursery," Bucky said when they got home, "Not like I ever sleep there."

Steve grunted a bit as he set down one of the large boxes they found at their front door.

"Thanks, Tony," He mumbled sarcastically as he stretched his back. He turned to Bucky. "That would work."

"I can get the other ones," Bucky told him.

"I got them, don't worry," Steve replied with a smile as he shoved the rest of the boxes into the apartment.

"Steve, I'm alright."

"I got it Buck, don't worry. You're pre..."

"...Not an invalid." Bucky picked up one of the smaller boxes and put it in his old bedroom.

"You know I don't think that, Buck," Steve said as he entered the room with more boxes, "I'm just trying to look out for you. Call it a 'thank you' for all the years you were looking out for me."

Bucky sighed as he opened one of the boxes. His eyes went wide as he pulled out large action figures of the entire team.

"Well, at least it's not all 'Iron Man'," Bucky said with a chuckle as he pulled out a Captain America figure holding the shield aloft and handing it to Steve.

"I'm not painting the room Red and Gold," Steve replied, shaking his head as one of the boxes seemed to contain nothing but 'Iron Man' wall decals.

Bucky laughed a bit as he put the figures on a bedside table. His grin fell as he pulled out a 'Winter Soldier' figure pointing a rifle; its left arm was silver with a red star.

" A little black paint can fix that," Steve said, taking the figure from Bucky and putting it next to the Cap figure in front of the rest of the team. "Or, we could have it painted to look like right one."

"...Black," Bucky replied after a moment. He pulled up his left sleeve and touched his wrist, turning the illusion off. "I don't want to lie to him."

"You're still sure it's a boy?"

"Maybe. I just don't want to call the baby 'it'. That's... dehumanizing."

Steve nodded as he gently kissed Bucky's temple. "I don't mind calling the baby 'him' until we know otherwise." Steve smiled at him. "Let's go to bed. We can deal with Tony's 'gifts' later."

Bucky walked into their bedroom, and stopped in front of their mirror. The team was right; he didn't look any different yet. And, depending on how everything goes, he may never really show.

Bucky quickly shook the idea out of his head. He was upset enough that HYDRA's experimentations were already affecting his child.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled as he rubbed his right hand along his lower abdomen, "I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better."

"Why do you say that?" Steve said as he came up behind Bucky and wrapped his arms around Bucky's stomach.

"He would be safer within anyone else," Bucky said with a sigh.

"Bucky, he couldn't ask for a better protector." Steve, said, kissing his shoulder. "It's already obvious how much you love him." Bucky looked back at the mirror.

"I promise, I will do everything in my power to make sure no one ever hurts you." _Myself included,_ Bucky couldn't help thinking.

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

Title: A Light in the Darkness

Author: Elerina18

Fandom: Avengers MCU

Pairings: Steve/Bucky, Tony/Bruce, others

Summary: Life had finally calmed down for the Avengers. Bucky has been made a member of the team, although he fears that was more based on Steve's say-so, than based on any of the others trusting him. His decades as HYDRA's weapon still haunt him. However, something unexpected may finally show him he is more than the "Winter Soldier". Mpreg/Birth

(Characters may be a bit OOC)

Parts: 4/?

Status: Work in Progress

Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to Marvel Studios and affiliates

************************************************************

The rest of March passed uneventfully. Steve had wanted to have a small, private celebration for Bucky's birthday, until the rest of the team practically buried them in gifts.

The apartment's spare room (Bucky's room before they decided to rekindle their relationship) had been gutted, and was slowly starting to look like a baby's room. The walls still had yet to be painted; Bucky wanted to wait until they found out what they were having. Steve had done most of the work, to Bucky's annoyance. Most of Tony's 'gifts' were still in their boxes; the figures of the team, however, were placed on a table in the corner, Steve's and Bucky's (repainted) figures at the front.

Tony had been surprisingly helpful lately. He managed to find several venues willing to host the wedding and reception on short notice. He had also made the 'suggestion' that the ceremony should be held on Memorial Day Weekend, if they didn't mind it being the same week as Tony's birthday, of course.

Steve and Bucky ended up agreeing to the idea. Several days later, Steve was sent a picture of replica 1940s dress uniforms and a smile. Most of the rest of April was spent planning and building up the nursery. 

**************************************************************

"Ready to go?" Buck asked as he saw Steve sitting on the couch with his sketch pad. When he didn't get a reply, he quietly walked over. As he reached out to tap Steve's shoulder, he happened to catch a glimpse of Steve's drawing, and his heart seemed to get caught in his throat.

It was a pencil line-art drawing of Bucky shirtless. The drawing's face was smiling softly; its eyes warm and lovingly staring down at the slightly curved abdomen. Its hands were resting gently on the curve, as though he was embracing the life within. Steve was currently shading the drawing's left arm to resemble Bucky's current cybernetic.

The drawing made Bucky look almost angelic.

As loath as he was to interrupt, he had a feeling Bruce would be a bit annoyed with them if they were late.

"Steve?" Bucky said as he gently touched Steve's arm. He winced apologetically when Steve jumped in surprise.

"Sorry, Steve, but we're supposed to meet with Bruce in about half an hour." 

"Oh," Steve replied somewhat sheepishly, setting down his sketchbook as he looked at a clock, "Didn't realize the time. Sorry, Buck."

******************************************************

"You sure you want to know?" Steve asked again as Bruce set up for their appointment. They had been debating for the past week whether or not they wanted to learn the baby's sex. Steve had been saying none knew back in their day, and the discovery may take away from the thrill. Bucky pointed out that the only reason no one knew ahead of time was because the technology wasn't available yet. Finding out would also make planning easier.

"Of course," Bucky replied as he sat on the bed.

"I'm happy to hear that," Bruce said, grinning as he looked up from the monitor, "Because this one seems eager to show off. FRI?"

A holographic screen appeared over the bed, showing off the ultrasound of the baby. The baby's body turned ever so slightly, and both parents just stared misty-eyed...

...As their **_son_** gently moved around on screen.

"...You were right, Buck," Steve finally managed once he found his voice again.

Steve's words seemed to fade away as Bucky just stared the screen. His hand subconsciously started caressing his abdomen. 

While Bucky was watching the ultrasound, Steve quietly walked over to Bruce. “How is the baby doing, overall?”

“He’s actually fine,” Bruce loaded the information onto his screen. “The only thing we may need to keep an eye on is he’s on the smaller side of average for his equivalent gestation, but considering who his parents are, I’m not worried.”

“You also gotta remember; I didn’t always look like this.”

Bruce nodded in understanding. “You’re worried he’s going to inherit the conditions you had as a child.” Steve nodded. “Well, as of now there’s nothing indicating any kind of disease. However, it’s going to be difficult to tell until after he’s born. What exactly did you have?” Steve gave him a list. “Actually, most of these have cures and vaccines now, or at least some type of treatment. He’ll be fine.”

“What about the serum? Is that affecting him at all?”

“As of right now, there’s no indication one way or another.” Bruce replied, “We’ll likely have to wait until after he’s born.” Steve nodded, looking up at the hologram over the bed. Bruce gently placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “He’s healthy. He’s going to be fine, Steve.”

“Thank you.” Bruce handed him some updated ultrasound photos and he sat back down next to Bucky.

“Leave it to you to be the overprotective Dad,” Bucky said with a chuckle, eyes not leaving the screen.

“Hey, I was just checking on him. I wanted to make sure everything’s alright.”

“I heard. Why do I have a feeling you’re going to put him in a bubble as soon as he’s born?”

“And you wouldn’t?”

Bucky shrugged. “I may wait on that until he’s a teenager; when he starts bringing dates home.”

Steve let out a soft laugh. “If he takes after you, we’re going to be in trouble.”

“With any luck, he’ll take after you,” Bucky replied, leaning over to kiss Steve…

Alarms suddenly sounded, startling everyone in the room. FRIDAY started relaying information about an attack that required the Avengers to intervene.

“Of _course,_ ” Steve grumbled, shaking his head as Bucky sighed in frustration. Bruce turned everything off as Steve pulled Bucky to his feet.

“It’s alright,” Bucky mumbled, “I’ll be fine here.”

“Buck…”

“Go.”

“…Alright.” He kissed Bucky’s forehead. "Just don't do anything stupid until I get back."

"How can I?" Bucky replied with a smile, "You're taking all the stupid with you."

"Punk."

"Jerk. Just be careful."

******************************

Bucky let out a sigh as he watched the Quinjet take off. It’s been getting harder and harder to let Steve go on missions. He felt vulnerable, almost exposed without him. He hated the feeling. He also hated not being there to help and protect him; even with the understanding that he was currently protecting something just as precious.

He wiped the moisture from his eyes, blaming everything on hormones. He went to the tower’s gym and started taking out his frustrations on the punching bags.

He’d have to apologize to Tony later for all the ones he accidently destroyed.

**********************************************************

The mission, thankfully, only took a few hours. Steve returned to find Bucky asleep on a sofa in the common area.

“Hey,” Steve whispered gently, brushing Bucky’s hair out of his face. Bucky scrunched up his face and opened his eyes slowly.

“Hi,” He mumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes, “How’d it go?”

“Pretty well, overall. The leader surrendered fairly quickly once Hulk started smashing up the place.”

Bucky grinned slightly at the thought as Steve helped pull him to his feet.

“Oh, I let the team know it’s a boy.” Steve said.

“It’s fine; they were going to find out soon enough anyway.”

On their way out of the tower, Steve handed Bucky a package. “Sam got us this.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow as he opened it, revealing a large baby name book.

“I’ll have to thank him later,” Bucky said as he flipped through the pages.

*********************************************************

“Did you have any names in mind?” Bucky asked as they walked into their apartment. Steve stopped, thinking.

“I… don’t know,” Steve replied after a moment, “Maybe Joseph or George, after one of our fathers?”

“Hmm.” Bucky shrugged as he joined Steve on the sofa. “Maybe we should give him something of his own.”

He started flipping through the name book, stopping and staring when he got to ‘S’.

“Of course he did,” Bucky said, letting out a chuckle as he handed the book to Steve. Steve started laughing himself when he saw ‘Samuel’ highlighted in neon yellow.

“I’m not naming him after any of your friends,” Bucky said, still chuckling, “I can only imagine how they’d act if we did.”

They discussed names throughout the afternoon. Bucky took the opportunity to stretch out on the sofa, resting his head on Steve’s lap as they talked. Steve’s free hand rested on the small bump on Bucky’s abdomen.

“What do you think of Lucas?” Steve said after a while, “It means ‘light’ according to this book.” Bucky thought for a moment. 

“…It’s not the worst suggestion you’ve made so far.” Bucky smirked as Steve mock-glared at him. “Lucas. You know, I actually kinda like it. Lucas Rogers.”

“ _Barnes-_ Rogers,” Steve corrected, “We’re combining our names at the wedding, remember?”

“I know. I just don’t think it’s right to burden him with my name, after everything I’ve done. I don’t exactly have much worth passing down…”

“Stop.” Steve stared down at Bucky, all levity gone. Steve let a long, drawn-out sigh.

“Look, I know you’ve been through more circles of hell than most people know exist. I know HYDRA tortured you, experimented on you; made you do things that would break anyone else. Yet, here you are now. You are a hell of a lot stronger, a hell of a lot _better_ , than you seem to think you are. It’s that strength, that spirit, you’d be passing down; and our son will be all the better for it.”

Bucky sat up, careful to look away from Steve as he fought the tears threatening to fall.

“Buck?”

“Sorry. Damned hormones,” Bucky mumbled, wiping his eyes.

“Come here,” Steve asked gently. Bucky turned to Steve giving him a soft smile. Steve moved closer and cupped Bucky’s face in his hands.

“Bucky, you are worth _everything._ ”

He pulled Bucky’s face closed and kissed him, ignoring the taste of salt. He smiled slightly against Bucky’s lips as Bucky turned his body toward him, opening his mouth to allow the kiss to deepen.

“Are you alright?” Steve asked once they parted. Bucky nodded.

“You know, it doesn’t seem that long ago I told you the same thing. Or close to it,” Bucky said, allowing himself to smile. Steve chuckled a bit at the memory.

“So, we’ve settled on Lucas, then?” Steve asked, picking the book up off the floor. Bucky nodded. “He’ll need a middle name,” Steve continued, flipping through the book again.

“Grant,” Bucky said immediately.

“What happened to giving him his own name?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It sounds right; Lucas Grant Barnes-Rogers. He deserves to have something from you as well.”

“He’s getting ‘Rogers’. If you want to do something like that, why not ‘Lucas Buchanan’?”

“Because _that_ combination sounds terrible.” Bucky made a face that made Steve burst out laughing.

“Lucas James, then?”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m carrying him; he’s getting enough from me already. He deserves something from you too.” Bucky leaned over and kissed Steve. “I’m not the only one ‘worth something’.”

“Alright, fine,” Steve said shaking his head, “Lucas Grant Barnes-Rogers. You know what? It’s starting to grow on me.” Bucky grinned and nodded in agreement.

“I still can’t believe we’ll be getting married in a month,” Steve said with a sigh as he put down the baby name book. “Everything’s happening so fast.”

“Well, we were ‘stuck’ for the better part of 70 years, Doll,” Bucky replied, “I guess life’s just catching up now.” An idea suddenly struck him. “You never learned to dance, did you?”

Steve’s face turned redder than his shield. “Well, it hasn’t exactly been a priority…”

“Figured as much.” Bucky stood and reached a hand out to Steve, pulling him to his feet. “Might as well show you a few things just so we’re not stepping on each other’s toes at the wedding.”

“You still remember how?” Steve asked, unable to help the grin on his face.

“I remember enough,” Bucky said as he looked through their record collection. He put one in the player and dropped the needle. “We’ll start slow. I’ll lead first just to show you, and if you want to lead when you’re comfortable, tell me.”

Steve held his arms up awkwardly. Bucky shook his head and positioned Steve’s hands; holding one and moving the other to his hip.

“Now, step back with this foot…”

As the evening wore on, Bucky eventually managed to get Steve to move around their living room in time to the music; only getting a few bruised toes from the experience. Bucky couldn’t help laughing as he tried to get Steve to loosen up.

Steve’s heart seemed to stop as he watched his fiancé laugh. Bucky’s eyes shown, and suddenly 70 years of stress seemed to melt off his face. In that moment, Steve was transported back in time, dancing in a ballroom with the band playing; staring into the eyes of a handsome young man wearing a brown military uniform…

“Steve?”

Steve blinked, shaking his head as he came back to reality. “Sorry, Buck. Honestly, I was just thinking about how good you look right now.”

Bucky snorted. “I’m a mess, but thank you.”

“No, you’re _pregnant._ There’s a difference.”

Steve pulled Bucky close, pressing their bodies together as he kissed Bucky deeply…

Both men froze as they felt gentle, fluttering movements within Bucky’s abdomen.

Steve pulled back, eyes wide. “Bucky…”

“I felt that too,” Bucky whispered, tying to keep his emotions in check as he rubbed his stomach. “…I guess Lucas wanted to say hello.”

“Lucas…” Steve breathed, trembling as how _real_ everything was hit him full force. He knew he was going to be a parent, but there was a difference between an image on a screen, and actually feeling him.

It seemed only yesterday when he was talking to Tony about getting a normal life; about how he left that behind when he crashed into the ice.

And now… now here was that life right there in his arms…

They were going to be _parents_.

Steve sank to his knees and kissed Bucky’s abdomen right where the movement was strongest.

“Hello, Lucas,” Steve whispered, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice, “We’ve waited a lifetime for you.”

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life had finally calmed down for the Avengers. Bucky has been made a member of the team, although he fears that was more based on Steve's say-so, than based on any of the others trusting him. His decades as HYDRA's weapon still haunt him. However, something unexpected may finally show him he is more than the "Winter Soldier". Mpreg/Birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wedding part 1

Title: A Light in the Darkness

Author: Elerina18

Fandom: Avengers MCU

Pairings: Steve/Bucky, Tony/Bruce, others

Summary: Life had finally calmed down for the Avengers. Bucky has been made a member of the team, although he fears that was more based on Steve's say-so, than based on any of the others trusting him. His decades as HYDRA's weapon still haunt him. However, something unexpected may finally show him he is more than the "Winter Soldier". Mpreg/Birth

(Characters may be a bit OOC)

Parts: 5/?

Status: Work in Progress

Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to Marvel Studios and affiliates

************************************************************

“You know,” Bucky said, looking up from the wall he was painting, “We still need to figure out what he’s going to call us.”

Steve glanced up from his sketch pad. He’d told Bucky he wanted to draw a mural on the wall above where the crib would be placed, but refused to tell Bucky what he’s designing. He paused for a moment, thinking. “Did you have anything in mind, Buck?”

“Well, calling us both ‘Dad’ is going to get confusing,” Steve looked like he was about to say something, but Bucky cut him off, “And if you say anything about him calling me ‘Ma’, I’m throwing the paint can at your head.”

Steve burst out laughing. “I wasn’t going to say that. But, technically…” Steve pretended to hide behind his sketch pad as Bucky glared at him. Bucky just shook his head and went back to painting.

“What do you want to be called?” Steve asked after a moment.

Bucky stopped for a minute, thinking. “Well, you can have ‘Dad’,” He eventually replied, “That seems to fit you better anyway. For me… I don’t know…”

“What do you think of something like ‘Pop’ or ‘Papa’?”

“As a reminder that we’re over 100 years old?” Bucky retorted, turning to Steve, “Although… ‘Papa’ doesn’t sound that bad…” Almost as though it was in response to the comment, Bucky stopped as he felt a swift kick within his abdomen. “Apparently, Lucas likes it.” Bucky couldn’t keep the goofy grin off his face as he rubbed his stomach. Steve smiled himself as he set down the sketch book and walked over.

“May I?” Steve asked, reaching out a hand.

“You do realize you are the only one who doesn’t need to ask permission, right?” Bucky replied as he placed Steve’s hand on his abdomen where the movement was strongest. Whatever Steve was about to retort seemed to fade as his eyes went wide at the movement.

“Hi, Lucas,” Steve whispered, “I’m your Dad. Papa and I love you.” Lucas seemed to respond with harder kicks.

Steve leaned to kiss Bucky, then suddenly stopped.

“What?”

Steve grinned as he gently rubbed Bucky’s cheek. “You may want to check a mirror, Buck.” Steve said with a smirk as he showed off royal blue painted fingers.

“Huh?” Bucky wiped his face and looked at his now blue hand in confusion. “How did I manage that?” He sighed, shaking his head as he walked to the bathroom, ignoring Steve’s laughter.

***************************************************************

Bucky had been seeing Bruce for appointments. Bruce has shown them updated ultrasound pictures. They’ve heard the baby’s heartbeat. The scans keep saying the same thing; Lucas is a bit on the small side, but is perfectly healthy otherwise. Bucky commented that Lucas was bigger than what he had experienced the previous times. Bruce’s hypothesis was that Lucas was in a healthier environment, and that likely causing the additional growth.

They worked the baby’s room and their wedding plans through the rest of April and most of May. The whole team had pitched in to help with wedding planning, getting everything done with two weeks to spare. Begrudgingly, Steve let the team help pick out songs for the reception; everyone saying they should have music from every decade. Tony kept dropping hints that there were going to be ‘surprises’ for them at the wedding. When pressed, he would only say “Consider them gifts from my dad.”

The team then spent the week before the wedding surprising them with a massive Bachelor party/Wedding shower/Baby shower/let’s just celebrate Steve and Bucky because we can and they both deserve it.

One of the _many_ gifts they received was a top-of-the-line digital camera (alongside a photo printer with enough paper and ink to last well over a year). Tony decided to comment that this was faster and easier than trying to draw every moment; _especially_ since their kid would never stay still. Steve wisely kept his thoughts to himself and proceeded to spend the rest of the party trying to get pictures of the team ( _maybe_ most of those pictures ended up being attempts at catching Bucky smiling and enjoying himself).

******************************************************************

“What time is Sam coming to pick you up?” Steve asked as Bucky placed a suitcase by the front door. They had decided to spend the 24 hours leading to the wedding ceremony apart; Sam offered to let Bucky stay with him and Steve would be staying at the tower.

“He should be here in about an hour,” Bucky said looking at the clock.

“You going to be alright alone?”

Bucky paused. “It’s only one night. I should be fine.”

“I know. It’s just… you’ve been having some bad nightmares lately.”

Bucky let out a sigh as he sat down next to Steve on the sofa. “I’m worried about Lucas, and that seems to keep coming to the surface every time I try to sleep...”

“Do you feel like something’s wrong with him?”

“No…”

Realization finally dawned on Steve. “You’re still worried they’re going to come for him.” He wrapped his arm around Bucky’s shoulders and pulled him close. Bucky rested his head on Steve’s shoulder.

“That’s all my dreams have been lately,” Bucky whispered, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

Steve sighed as he pulled Bucky closer. “If it helps, I’m fairly certain HYDRA doesn’t know he exists.”

“No, but I know they’re still looking for _me_. They’re not going to just give up on a weapon they invested multiple decades ‘building’ and attempting to copy. And when they find me, they’ll find him.”

“They don’t know where you are, as far as we can tell.”

“Yet…”

Steve sighed. “I get it. I wish I could tell you that won’t happen, or that you have nothing to worry about.” He kissed the top of Bucky’s head. “What I can promise is he’s got two dads and a huge, crazy extended family that will protect him, and you, with their lives. Also, you’re not a weapon.”

Steve grabbed his tablet off the table. “I found something. I meant to show you this earlier.” He gave the tablet to Bucky. On screen was a black-and-white video of Steve and Bucky standing together laughing.

“It’s amazing what you can find on the internet,” Steve continued as Bucky stared at the video. “Do you remember?”

Bucky blinked, not answering as he sat up. He paused the video and just stared.

_-_

_“Thank you, Buck. But I can get by on my own.”_

_“The thing is, you don’t have to…”_

_“Where are we going?”_

_“The future.”_

_“…This isn’t about me.”_

_“Right. ‘Cause you got nothing to prove.”_

_“What happened to you?”_

_“I joined the army.”_

_“Ready to follow ‘Captain America’ into the jaws of death?”_

_“Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight; I'm following him.”_

_“I had him on the ropes.”_

_“I know you did.”_

_“Grab my hand!”_

-

“Bucky?”

He blinked, shaking his head as he came back to the present.

“I remember bits and pieces,” He eventually replied, looking up at Steve. He snorted. “You’re still too dumb not to run away from a fight.”

Steve stared for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Out of everything, _that’s_ what you remember?”

Bucky laughed softly, then turned back to the paused image of Steve and him laughing together.

“I’m trying, Stevie. Some days are better than others.” He took a deep breath. “I know this is what you want; to get me to remember what we had before… to get me to turn back into _him_ …” He handed the tablet back to Steve, not looking up. “… After everything that’s happened, even if I do regain all my old memories… I don’t know if I’ll ever be that man again…” He stared down at his left hand, wincing slightly as he flexed those fingers.

“Hey,” Steve said softly, kneeling in front of Bucky, “I’m sorry if that’s how I made you feel. Maybe, at first, I was trying to have you remember who you were, just to bring back some semblance of normal for both of us… to get back the person that my failure took from me.” Bucky started to say something, but Steve cut him off, “I know; you’re going to tell me it wasn’t my fault. I can’t help it; you lost _decades_ because I failed you in that one moment. And I do understand you’ve been through a lot.” He gently ran his fingers along Bucky’s metal arm. “All I’m trying to get you to see _now_ is the man behind the ‘Winter Soldier’. I’m hoping that helping you remember will help you understand you are so much more than what they did to you. I do understand you’ve changed, Buck. I love _you;_ as you are.” He picked up Bucky’s left hand and kissed it. “The man I want is sitting right here in front of me. I know who I proposed to. I love every part of you, past and present.”

Before Bucky could reply, Lucas decided to kick hard enough that Bucky’s stomach moved; almost as though he was agreeing with his father’s statement.

“I love you too, Luke,” Steve said, grinning as he kissed Bucky’s abdomen, “You better behave for Papa and Uncle Sam tonight.” Lucas kicked in response.

“We’re getting married tomorrow…” Bucky whispered after a moment, running a hand through Steve’s hair. He smiled softly as Steve looked up at him, confusion clear on his face. “I know; we’ve been planning this for the last few months. It’s still crazy to think about, after everything.” He laughed softly. “I do still remember having to steal time with you; all those forbidden kisses and ‘touches’ behind closed doors, stealing looks when out in public, having to bring girls around to keep up appearances. Remember the Expo? I figured that would be the last night I’d ever see you, which was part of the reason I was so annoyed when you went off to try and enlist _again_ instead of joining us. Then, after everything with HYDRA…” He trailed off, looking at his left arm again, “I guess I never thought I’d get to this point.”

“It does feel like a dream, doesn’t it?” Steve replied, sitting down next to Bucky again, “Getting married and having a family… Honestly I never thought I ‘d have this either.”

“Really? From what I remember, you weren’t exactly lacking in options, at least during our Commando days.”

“And I wasn’t interested in any of them,” Steve replied with a sigh, “ _You_ were always the one I wanted.”

“Not even Peggy?” Bucky asked with a small grin.

“Really?” Steve raised an eyebrow. “You _know_ she was more a sister to me than anything. Hell, I’m still grateful she let me use her picture to throw the press off _us_.” Steve suddenly stopped talking as something occurred to him. “Wait a minute, go back to the Expo. What do you mean that was only _part_ of the reason you were annoyed with me?”

“What? You didn’t understand what I was trying to tell you outside the enlistment center that night?”

“What _were_ you trying to tell me, Buck?” Steve asked, a look of curiosity and fake innocence on his face. Bucky knew the look; Steve was genuinely asking, but was also using this as a test to see how much Bucky did actually remember. 

“Other than that you were being a stubborn asshole?”

“Language.”

“Shut up.”

“Hey, I don’t want Lucas’ first words to be curses.”

“He doesn’t understand anything we’re saying right now.” Bucky shook his head, sighing. “My whole _point_ that night was trying to tell you that if you went in there one of two things would happen; either they would finally notice the fake forms and throw you in prison, or worse, some idiot would actually let you enlist and the next time I’d see you would be your funeral…” Bucky took a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm the now raging emotions coursing through him. “Forgive me for trying to make sure my boyfriend was safe.”

“Do you honestly believe I wasn’t thinking the same about you?” Steve held Bucky close. “I wasn’t actually trying to get myself killed, Buck. I just wanted to do something important; I wanted to help.”

“Well, you got what you wanted, _Captain._ ”

“Dr. Erskine said he was giving me a chance. Everything just... went a little sideways after he was killed. I didn’t plan on being made into ‘America’s Propaganda Machine’.”

“For what it’s worth, _I_ thought the outfit was sexy as hell.” Bucky grinned mischievously, licking his lips. “Then again, that may have been because it had _you_ in it…” Whatever Bucky was about to say next was cut off abruptly as Steve pressed their lips together, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair. Bucky couldn’t’ help but smile into the kiss, opening his mouth and pressing back. Steve pushed Bucky down onto the sofa; their mouths never separating as they started to unbutton each other’s pants…

Only to simultaneously sigh in frustration as the doorbell rang.

“I thought you said Sam would be here in an hour…” Steve grumbled, buttoning his pants and standing as he heard Bucky curse in multiple different languages. Once he looked normal, more or less, he walked over and opened the door.

“Hey, Steve,” Sam said with a grin as the door opened, “How are you guys doin…” He looked Steve over, then noticed Bucky sitting on the couch, hair all over the place and glaring at Sam. “I interrupted something, didn’t I?” Sam asked innocently, laughing at their disheveled looks. “Should I come back in, say, 15 to 20 and let you two finish… whatever you were doing?”

Steve let out a long, drawn-out sigh as he turned to Bucky, who just shrugged while still giving Sam an evil look.

“Doesn’t look like there’s a point now. Don’t worry about it, Sam.”

“Hey, I wasn’t actually trying to kill the mood this time.” Sam put his hands up in surrender, grinning. “I’m just glad I didn’t catch you two sucking face again.”

“Well, if you want a show…” Bucky smirked mischievously as he walked over and wrapped his arms around Steve.

“No thanks. I’m good,” Sam replied, laughing and shaking his head, “You ready to go?”

“I should be.” Bucky nodded. “Wait, I almost forgot one last thing…” He then proceeded to grab Steve’s face with both hands and pulled his mouth into his own. Steve seemed to have no issue opening his mouth and deepening the kiss, throwing in a few nibbles on Bucky’s lips for good measure.

“Oh, come _on!_ ” Sam exclaimed, face-palming. “You couldn’t wait ‘til tomorrow night for all this?”

Bucky pulled himself away long enough to say “Nope!” before devouring Steve’s lips again.

“Come on, Buck,” Steve mumbled, he disappointment in his tone making it clear he was speaking out of need and not desire, “I’ve gotta finish getting my stuff together, and you gotta go.”

“Fine,” Bucky sighed, giving Steve one more peck on the lips before letting him go.

“You know, I only grilled up steak and potatoes, got a bunch of snacks, and set up games and movies to celebrate your last official night as a bachelor. I’d hate for all of that _food_ to go to waste…”

“Next time, Sam, lead with that,” Bucky replied, grinning as he picked up his suitcase.

“Buck,” Steve called as Bucky had a foot out the door, “If you have any… issues tonight, tradition be damned, you can call me.”

“I know.” Bucky walked over and kissed him one more time. “I’ll be alright.” He turned and started walking to the door, only to stop at the threshold and turned back.

“Steve?”

“What?”

Bucky didn’t bother to hide the smirk on his face.

“ _Language._ ”

He then turned and walked out the door as Steve’s face turned bright red. Sam burst out laughing.

“Good to know I’m not the only one he likes to mess with,” Sam said once he finally caught his breath. “Don’t worry; I’ll make sure your groom-to-be and my godson are well taken care of.”

“I know you will,” Steve replied with a smile, “Thank you for this, Sam.” Sam walked out before Steve could remind him that they hadn’t selected _any_ godparents for Lucas yet. He just shook his head as he walked back to the bedroom to finish packing.

*********************************************************

_Bucky awoke to metal restraints weighing down his wrists, chest, ankles, and hips, pinning him down on his back. His mouth was gagged, seeming to silence him entirely. He could barely make out what appeared to be medical equipment in the deepening shadows; his heart threatening to beat out of his chest as he recognized the lab he was being held in._

_“Ah, our Asset is finally awake,” stated a masked form that was suddenly standing over him, “Welcome home, Soldier.”_

_Bucky tried to break his restraints, but his limbs felt like dead weight._

_“Thank you so much for the gifts.” The figure continued, either not noticing or not caring that Bucky was struggling._

_Bucky stopped dead at the words._

_Gifts?_

_Lights suddenly illuminated something next to Bucky. He slowly turned his head…_

_…Only to see Steve’s cold, lifeless eyes stare back at him._

_The only thing preventing him from screaming was the heavy gag tied around his mouth._

_“Ah yes, thank you for delivering Captain America’s body to us,” The figure stated, seeming amused, “But that pales in comparison to the true prize you brought home.”_

_Before Bucky could react, pain like he had never felt before radiated throughout his body as his abdominal muscles contracted violently._

_No… It couldn’t be…_

_“Hold him.”_

_Hands suddenly appeared from the surrounding shadow, pressing down on multiple parts of his body with seemingly superhuman strength._

_“Now hold still,” The figure stated, suddenly holding a scalpel, “You’ll only make this harder on yourself if you struggle.”_

_The scream Bucky let out as the blade cut into his lower abdomen would have shaken the room apart had he been able to scream._

_“Beautiful.”_

_Bucky opened his eyes to see the figure standing over him again, holding what at first looked like a bundle of blood-splattered cloths…_

_Until he saw a small hand sticking out of the bundle, flailing around and seeming to reach out to him._

_“Thank you, so much, for this treasure,” The figure practically gushed, “The offspring of Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Our future is assured now.”_

_The figure turned and started walking away as the sound of a baby’s cry suddenly seemed to come from everywhere at once._

_“Take him to be wiped. We will not lose our Asset again.”_

_The hands holding him down, the restraints, the table he was laying on, and all the shadows surrounding him suddenly started twisting, contorting, changing into long, red tendrils that wrapped themselves around his entire body, pulling him down into darkness…_

********************************************************

Bucky bolted out of bed, lungs on fire as he tried to catch his breath.

_HYDRA… trapped… Steve… Steve’s dead! … LUCAS!_

Bucky wrapped his arms around his stomach; letting tears fall as he felt his son’s movements under his palms. He gently sat back down on the bed as he tried to calm his racing heart. He finally allowed himself to look around, trying his best to force his mind back to the present.

_Bed… Not an operating table… Not a HYDRA base… Right… I stayed at Sam’s last night…_

Slowly, he turned to look at the clock.

3:42 AM

_Nightmare… Lucas is fine… Steve is fine… Just a nightmare…_

He gingerly lay back down on the bed, closing his eyes with the hope that maybe his mind would let him maybe get another couple hours of sleep.

_Steve’s cold, lifeless eyes stared back at him._

Bucky’s eyes shot open as he sat back up in a rush.

Well, so much for sleep…

He pulled his phone out of his bag, debating if he should bother his fiancé…

Tradition be _damned._

As quickly and as quietly as he could, he pulled on a pair of sweatpants and made his way to the far end of the apartment; doing his best to make sure he didn’t wake up Sam.

He sat himself into a corner, pulled out his phone, and called Steve.

Bucky was only mildly surprised when Steve picked up after only one ring.

“Buck?” Came a soft voice onto the line, “Hey, Love, are you alright?”

Bucky let himself smile a bit at the nickname. He turned on the video camera, revealing the exhausted, concerned face of his fiancé. Bucky was positive he looked worse.

“Hi, Stevie,” He mumbled in reply, “Sorry I woke you up.”

“You didn’t, actually,” Steve replied, stifling a yawn. Steve was always a terrible liar. “What’s wrong, Buck?”

“…Rough night. Needed to see you.”

“Same thing?” Steve’s eyes softened.

“…Worse this time.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Bucky took a deep, shaky breath, then let the images out; being trapped in the base in Siberia, Steve’s body next to him, getting cut open and Lucas being taken from him. He stuttered through the explanation, not bothering to wipe the tears away.

“Buck…” Steve’s hand appeared on screen, almost in a vain attempt to reach through it to Bucky.

“I’m alright, Buck. I promise.” Steve waved with his free hand, causing Bucky to chuckle a bit. “And Lucas is alright too.”

“Yeah, he’s been kicking nonstop this whole time. I think he’s annoyed with me for waking him up.”

Steve laughed softly. “Feel better?”

“I’m starting to.”

“Try to get what rest you can.” Steve suddenly had a goofy grin on his face. “We’re getting married in about 8 hours.”

 _That_ put a genuine grin on Bucky’s face. “I’ll try. You go back to sleep too.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Bucky disconnected the call, sighing.

Yeah, sleep wasn’t happening; not with those images still flowing through his mind. He sat down on the sofa and looked through photos of him, Steve, and the team, as well as Lucas’ ultrasound pictures, on his phone until Sam woke up.

***************************************************************

Bucky sighed in frustration as he looked at the mess in the mirror. He unknotted the tie _again,_ glaring at the green strip of fabric.

“Want some help?” Sam asked, chuckling as he watched from the corner of the dressing room.

“You know, there actually was a point when I could do this with no problem. I got it,” Bucky shot back. He closed his eyes, attempting to let muscle-memory guide him as he folded the fabric around itself.

“Here,” Sam walked over and took the ends of the tie out of Bucky’s hands. “You’ve been hanging out with Steve too long; you’re getting to be as stubborn as he is.”

“He actually got that from me,” Bucky replied with a smirk.

“Yeah, we’ll go with that,” Sam replied, sarcasm evident as he pushed the knot up Bucky’s tie. “There you go.” Sam stepped to the side to let Bucky see himself in the mirror.

Thank you,” Bucky said with a soft smile as he fixed his collar.

“I _still_ can believe you found this thing,” Sam exclaimed again as he pulled a deep green jacket of a hanger and handed to Bucky.

“Honestly, me either. It was part of a World War II exhibit in _London_ of all places.” He pulled the jacket on, still surprised it fit around his left arm. He buttoned the jacket, grunting with some frustration as he had to pull it somewhat tight around his stomach, and belted it. He turned to check the mirror, and time seemed to freeze.

A different man stared back at him, dressed to the nines his old uniform. Light reflected off his medals, stripes, SSR pins, the slight bit of chain holding his dog tags peeking out from under his collar, and the ‘Howling Commando’ wings on his shoulders; seeming to give the whole uniform its own glow.

_“The 107 th. Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.”_

“What did you say?”

Bucky looked at Sam in surprise. “Sorry, was just thinking back to the night before I shipped out.”

“Was that the last time Steve saw you wearing this?”

“I… think so. At least, I know he hasn’t seen it since the war.” He tied hi hair back and put on his hat. “Be honest; how does it look?”

“Not bad, for an old man,” Came a sudden reply in Russian, and both Sam and Bucky nearly jumped out of their skin. Bucky slowly turned to the door, and shook his head at Nat smiling at them, wearing a red and black dress that seemed tailored to accent her curves.

“Thank you,” Bucky replied in Russian, “You don’t look that bad yourself.”

“All right, can we stick to English, please? You know I don’t understand a thing you’re saying,” Sam complained. Both Bucky and Nat started laughing.

“But seriously, you look great,” Nat continued, switching back to English, “Steve is going to flip seeing you like this.”

“You think?” Bucky replied, feeling his face heat up.

“Absolutely.” She smiled, talking a quick look at the time. “Well, the ceremony is starting in about 20 minutes. You ready?”

Bucky looked past her out the door, and suddenly the idea of facing Thanos’ army again, unarmed and alone, seemed significantly less terrifying than walking out there.

“Yeah, sure,” Bucky said, trying to calm his breathing, “… I’m only about to marry C _aptain America._ So… no pressure.”

“You’re about to marry Steve Rogers,” Nat corrected, “Someone you’ve loved since you were a teenager, from my understanding. Everything else is secondary.”

“That’s almost worse. Steve’s been through so much; he’s done so much with his life. He’s everyone’s hero, and rightly so. How am I supposed to live up to that, after everything I’ve done?”

“Do you honestly think he would have asked you to marry him if he thought you weren’t worth it?” Sam replied, crossing his arms.

“I’m pregnant. He probably thought he was doing the right thing…” Bucky stated quietly. Nat and Sam both glared at him.

“Right, because he spent weeks trying to have a custom engagement ring made _only_ because of a pregnancy he found out about the day the ring was finished,” Sam replied, sarcasm dripping from the words. 

“Bucky, Steve loves you, _both_ of you,” Nat added, “Do you honestly believe he would have fought as hard as he did to get you back if he didn’t?” She reached up and gave him a hug. “If it makes you feel better, I just came from Steve’s dressing room, and he’s a nervous wreck too.”

“Really?” Bucky asked incredulously.

“Tony was trying to calm him down when I left,” Nat replied, nodding. Bucky chuckled a bit, breathing a little easier. Nat checked the time again. “I should go; the ceremony is starting soon.” She turned to Sam. “Make sure he actually walks out when the music starts.”

“Understood,” Sam replied, saluting her. She winked at Bucky before turning and walking out the door.

“Well, _are_ you ready?” Sam asked.

Bucky attempted take some deep breaths to calm his racing heart, but that proved pointless. He turned to Sam and smiled. “When it comes down to it, I’ve been ready for this since 1935.”

Sam burst out laughing as the two of them started walking out the door.

“Wait!” Bucky said, suddenly stopping. He pressed the button on his left wrist, turning the ‘flesh’ holographic off. “I’m not wearing that; it’s not me anymore. I only had it turned on to travel anyway.”

Before Sam could reply, they both looked up as music started playing.

“There’s our signal. Shall we?” Sam asked as he walked out the door. Bucky took another deep breath and followed, holding a folded piece of paper in his pocket like his life depended on it.

TBC…


End file.
